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Shaky Days

Someday this will end ...
I wake
     with my jaw shaking
every nerve
          on fire
                    quaking
sometimes it’s cold
            sometimes it’s not
     sometimes it’s a cold
               that maybe
                         I forgot
I grab wood
        a belt across the knees
     rise slowly
like an animal
               emerging
                         from a freeze
it’s always too bright
               the sun
                    unrelenting
what should spark joy
               awakens
                         a great lamenting
I pour some coffee
          ignoring the hand
                    that won’t close
roll outside
          with the squirrels
                    have myself
                              a smoke
quickly
     I take notice
          of the symmetry
                    of things
a bird as it sings
          and the duality
                    of feathered wings
sometimes
          it’s a cage
                    an imprisonment
                              of rage
other times
          peace
and my fortitude

               will increase
time keeps on ticking
          ticking
                    ticking
                              into the distance
but one day
          the clock
                    will tick
                              its last tock
soon
     I will be free from this
and in some infinite space
               once again
                         I will walk
arms spread wide
          waiting
               to embrace me
to take me beyond
               this station
                    into the cradle
                              of eternity
what will I see
          in the time
                    beyond time
will there be rhythm
               in the unbounded
                         rhyme
or is rhythm
          a function
               free from malfunction
rhythm is a lock step
               a meter
                    we tend to forget
once the weight
          has been lifted
and the burden
          has been shifted
no longer unitary
               in parade formation
no longer
          a cadence
                    of intimidation
but the stars
          are mostly jazz
               celestial
                    razzmatazz
Django Reinhardt
               unchained
guitar strings
          pressed
               and twanged
played beneath trees
               where men
                    were once hanged
meaning
          is not syncopated
life is not a cage

               to which
                    we are fated
when I open my eyes

               and the sunshine
                         invades
I see the beauty
          in all of this
                    and wonder
                              pervades
shaky days
          will indeed
                    reach their conclusion
but the prison
               of the body
                    is just another
                              illusion
and the mind dances
               like a nomad
                    in firelight
and in the dance
               is the resistance
                         of plight
I am bound here
          that much is true
but one day
               I will enter
                    the great
                              widening blue

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