I make things. Some are serious. Some are funny. Most are curious. If you’re interested in history, community, humor, stories, music, and the odd corners of human nature, I think you’ll find something here that’s worth your time.
Tooth Fairy, Inc.
You want to know why I deserve this job? Because while the rest of the world is asleep, I'm working. You think this is glitter and little wings? You think I float around handing out quarters like some kind of dental philanthropist? Every night I crawl under bunk beds, dodge LEGO bricks, avoid family dogs that have sworn a blood oath against me, and somehow leave exact change without waking a six-year-old. And you want to lecture me about qualifications? You don't know the pressure. Every tooth has a story. Some come wrapped in tissues. Some are still... moist. You ever tried carrying a pocket full of freshly extracted bicuspids? I have. Parents expect magic. Kids expect cash. Dentists expect better brushing. Everybody expects the Tooth Fairy to solve their problems. You think anybody thanks me? No. The moment one dollar shows up instead of five, suddenly I'm trending on FairyTok as "washed." You sit there behind that polished little desk asking me whether I have the temperament for this job. Temperament? I've negotiated with children who hid their own teeth because they wanted to see me. I've escaped cats. I've outrun Roombas. I've survived bunk beds built by people who clearly hated adult vertebrae. You think you know this profession? You don't. Because the truth is... You can't handle the tooth!
